And the award goes to…

ME, for Laziest Blogger Ever!

I have had a lot of stuff to talk about, but less time than ever with which to do so. During my time away, we’ve had some big changes! You all know I changed jobs, but I never said specifically what I was doing. I debated on whether or not to post about it and ultimately decided not to until after the position was over, for a variety of reasons. The position I accepted was with a teenage girl with mild developmental delays who was in need of supervision and tutoring. One thing that made it tricky was the confidentiality issue- she is in the foster care system, so it is a very tangled web to navigate. Additionally, she’s a teenager and her peer group has a strong online presence. Even more, she is now legally an adult and we have been working with her on self-advocacy. While I will always be there for her, she is her own voice. One of the cool things about being so close in age is that she was able to respect me as an authority figure while accepting me as a guiding peer. Having a friend who’s made it through high school and the next few years after that can be a pretty sweet deal- I can give her a heads up on some of the things to avoid, you know, like meth and wearing leggings as pants.

I really enjoyed the position and got a lot out of it. It sucked when the end of April rolled around, because she had aged out of one of the programs that provided the funding for her to have a tutor. Obviously I’m still plugged into her life, just not professionally. It was hectic trying to find a new job and I was losing my mind towards the end of the search, but then the perfect opportunity presented itself in the form of a last-minute interview at Starbucks. I actually had two interviews in one day and am so glad I said yes to the second one, because the first one was one of those where you’re not really sure what happened but are pretty sure it wasn’t the job they had advertised… Anyways, I met my boss-to-be and we talked until after midnight. A few days later, the job was mine!

I’m currently working with an adorable four year-old boy with Asperger’s, who is insanely cute and absolutely hilarious. The way his mind works is amazing, and I cannot wait to see what life has in store for him! He’s already teaching me so much- think about how much he’ll teach the world!!!

In addition to the change of employment, I have had the awesome opportunity to move into my first apartment! I love it so much and really look forward to the new levels of independence I am achieving.
My last final of the semester was today. I am so relieved to be done with the semester and have summer to focus on my new kiddo, who I have appropriately deemed “Superkid.” I’m nowhere near done with school, but I officially have all of my math credits taken care of! You know, unless I bombed my final… *nervous laughter*

My goal is to post some updates on things I’ve done like celebrating 3-21 and Autism Awareness month, but no promises! I wish I was kidding. Sigh.

On an unrelated note, Happy Cinco de Mayo! May your evening be filled with fajitas and fun!
Now I want fajitas…

From Ear 2 Ear,

Amber

How do you validate your children?

How do you validate your children? How do they validate themselves?

I haven’t been a parent. I know that I cannot possibly understand how hard it is, or assume that I know what it’s like. As a big sister, a nanny, a tutor, a volunteer, and a grown-up version of the little girls out there, I do know about being a kid and caring for one like they were your own.

The majority of people I have worked with have been girls, but I have cared for a few boys as well. The little girl I was “way back when” is still, and always will be a part of me. The little boy or little girl you were is somewhere deep inside of you. Never lose that. Remember the whimsy, the silliness, the innocence, and especially the vulnerability.

Kids are so malleable. Everything they experience will shape who they are, and who they will become. You can hide all the scary, bad things in the world from them, keep them in a bubble, shower them with praise- believe me, my parents tried- but when they grow up, they’ll need more than that to take with them into the real world.

Let’s go back to the present. Your children need validation. They need to know that you approve of them, that you’re proud, and that you stand with them no matter what. Of course you’ve already told them this, but is it enough? Teach them to validate themselves, and they will believe you when you tell them they’re special. Teach them to validate themselves, and they won’t let anyone tell them they’re less. If your kid doesn’t feel good about themselves, they won’t believe you when you say they’re enough. You can go above and beyond to tell them they’re the best, but they have to believe it themselves for it to work.

How do you make your precious little girl understand just how valuable she is? There’s no “one right way.” Every child is different. Here are some things I came across that really stood out…

http://drkellyflanagan.com/2013/04/17/a-daddys-letter-to-his-little-girl-about-her-future-husband/

http://www.viralnova.com/father-letter-to-daughter/
My favorite part is what he asks her each night at bedtime.

http://www.homestarcenter.org/how_much_validation.html
This article supports my theory that validation must come from within.

http://fatherhood.about.com/cs/fatherhood/a/kidsneedcare.htm
Respect for parents is often emphasized to the point where we forget that children need it too.

http://mommasaid.net/2012/11/29/validate-emotions/

http://www.innerbonding.com/mobile/show-article/2742/self-validation-how-to-validate-yourself.html
This applies to us all.

http://thesnowballeffect.com/how-to-plant-the-seed-of-self-acceptance-in-your-child/

These are just some that I found after digging through the interwebs a bit. Please note that I am sharing these as examples, and not everything within the websites posted reflects the views of From Ear 2 Ear.

My parents validated me, but I never learned to appropriately validate myself. Don’t let your little ones grow up without learning to value and respect themselves. I look at these kids and teens and wish I could embrace them and say, “Do you know how important you are to the world?” I wish I could impart to each person on this earth just how much they are worth.

Give your children validation and instill the belief so strongly that it comes from within. There is nothing more powerful than a child’s ability to say, “I am enough, and I will not let others convince me that I am lesser.”

Create the foundation and enable them to build upon it. A skyscraper will fall without a strong foundation, as will your child.

It takes a village.

From Ear 2 Ear,

Amber

P.S.- Share your favorite ways to validate your children in the comments! I love feedback!

*Insert Rocky Theme Song Here*

Cookie had her first big-time Special Olympics meet on April 20th, technically starting on the 19th if you count preliminaries (I totally do).

She worked her hiney off both days and had a great time! We made new friends, did our best, and had a good attitude almost the entire time.

Preliminaries were on a Friday, so she rode the bus to the stadium with her teammates. I met them there and had the priviledge of being Cookie’s road crew for the day. She did a wonderful job in her 50-meter! Second place!

*Disclaimer: I know it doesn’t matter what place she gets, but we maintain the right to celebrate. If she got third place, I’d say, “Yeah, third place!”*

We basked in the sun and sat on the picnic blanket talking and laughing with our teammates, taking pictures… it was great. That’s why I go every year. Since my junior year of high school, I’ve made an effort to make it out there every Spring unless I’m attending the basketball tournaments with my siblings. It’s one of the things that gets me through the first part of the semester when I need motivation.

On Saturday I was unable to attend her race, as I was participating in a flash mob for Autism Awareness Month on behalf of Hope Center for Autism. It was so great! I did make it to the stadium in time to see her softball throw, which was great! I will add pictures from both days of track as well as the flash mob.

I am honestly so exhausted from finals week that I am kind of wimping out on this post. My main point is that we had a great time and it was a great experience for everyone!

I promise to upload pics before I crash for tonight though! I love you all dearly and hope y’all are sticking with me even though I stink at keeping up with my blog! I’ll leave you with one of my favorite Irish Blessings…

“May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.”

From Ear 2 Ear,

Amber

FRIENDS and a very big day

This post could also be referred to as “Why Miss Amber cried like a baby.”

Cookie’s first meet for SO track & field was on Tuesday. I talked to my boss and we decided that I would sit this one out so I could get Benjamin, and so that she could have that “first time at Special Olympics” experience. It is seriously the best feeling ever when you see someone you love with all your heart running for the finish line. The crowd calls out to their athletes, volunteers clap and cheer, and first-time spectators rush forward to the railing to get a better view of their runner as the gun goes off.

You could be the most reserved person in the world and completely lose it at these games. You see these athletes working their rears off to accomplish a goal and ultimately outrun themselves. They strive to do better than their best, and have fun building skill as athletes and valuable team members. That’s when you lose it- screaming, cheering, waving your arms, clapping till your hands sting… it’s part of the experience. When you see your athlete cross the finish line, you have this indescribable rush of joy and feel your entire heart leap out of your chest. You’re ecstatic. You’re part of the Special Olympics, and you couldn’t be prouder.

I met Cookie and their mom at the house after I picked up her brother. She beamed as she held up two second-place ribbons, one for her 50-meter race and one for her softball throw. I praised her and gave her a big hug, and then saw the poster on the table. Her classmates had made her a bright pink sign that said “Good Luck Brooke” with everyone’s signatures on it! I have a picture of it, but my blog hates me right now and it won’t insert properly. I repel technology…

The sign isn’t even the best part.

Her mom showed me a video sent to her from her teacher, as Brookie rode the bus to the meet (riding the bus is the joy of her life). It was shot when Cookie was leaving to get on the bus… I’m still in awe of it all…

The ENTIRE second grade lined up in the hallway on each side and cheered “GO BROOKE, GO BROOKE!” over and over as she walked down the hallway from the classroom. They were clapping and shouting words of encouragement, many stepping out of line to give her a hug. As I watched this, my hand rose to my mouth in shock and my eyes became cloudy with “allergies.” Alright, I’m a crybaby, sue me!

It gets BETTER. That’s right, they can somehow add to the amazing amount that’s already been done to make it even better.

The second video sent from her teacher was of her leaving the front of the school with children on each side of her making a tunnel with their hands. She looked at them like they were crazy until her teacher prompted her by saying “go through the tunnel!” at which point she ducked her head and ran under their hands. The look on her face when she emerged was priceless… She had the biggest grin on her face and you could just see the pride.

The absolute, without a doubt, BEST BEST part of all of this is that these aren’t just random kids from her school. These are her FRIENDS. Her friends were excited because their friend Brooke was going to something called the Special Olympics to compete in events that she had practiced for in school.

FRIENDS. These kids see her and interact with her in class and co-curr. They consider her one of them because they have seen firsthand that they are MORE ALIKE THAN DIFFERENT. They love music, dancing, and silliness. She plays with everybody and sings along to Bieber with all her FRIENDS.

Friends.

Well, I have to go watch the videos again and cry tears of joy and happiness. Thank you so much for following me and supporting Cookie. We love you from the bottom of our hearts!

From Ear 2 Ear,

Amber

Our first year of Special Olympics has begun!

We had our first practice for Special Olympics Track & Field last Tuesday.

I am not going to lie to you- it was a trainwreck.  Okay, maybe not, but it definitely was not what we had anticipated.

Mind you, this kid is a rockstar.  She is fully capable of everything they did (or tried to do) that day, but with rockstar comes diva, and this was a diva day.

We struggled to get ready even though we were looking forward to practice.  Thirty minutes later we emerge, sweaty and carrying three purse, only one of which was mine.

When we get there, we get our name tag and grudgingly sit down in the stretching circle.  Miss Amber returns Cookie to the circle twice after she makes a break for it.  When everyone lines up for the softball throw, we decide it’s time to make three grown adults chase us in circles.  Miss Amber is called to the field to keep Cookie in line (literally) long enough to throw the softball twice.  She ran her heat once, halfway a second time.

Our (mostly) voluntary softball throw

*DISCLAIMER: I understand that overstimulation can lead to impulsive behavior, especially when adapting to new situations.  I am in no way ignoring that or being a tyrant, but am assessing her abilities and behavioral patterns along with contributing factors.  Miss Amber was very patient and totally understands that it was not 100% willfullness.

Miss Amber DOES know that Cookie was in no mood to follow directions, and is thrilled to report…

wait for it…

an EPIC WIN for Practice #2 this week!

She ROCKED IT!  She found a friend and went to the stretching circle, threw the softball like it was her job, and ran her heat twice.  The first time I saw her get up and run the entire length on her own, I just about lost it.  She was so amazing!  Her little legs were moving as fast as they could and she didn’t stop the whole way.  I was in the bleachers and when I saw that her turn was up, I leaned forward in hope that she would listen to the coaches and at least stay in her line.  The proverbial whistle blew and off she went!  I shot to my feet and immediately worried that I’d jinxed it somehow, but she kept going.  My hands came up to my face as I prayed that she would run the whole way… and she did!

Being the oh-so-suave social expert I am, I shouted, “YES!  THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!  YEAH!”

Then I realized I was on the opposite side of the field, way out of earshot, pointlessly screaming amidst parents and siblings that were talking amongst themselves.  Most of them had been doing this for years, so they had experienced their “firsts” as far as practices go.

When she came off the field later, I was freaking out, so excited, spinning her around in my arms.  She loves it when I get overly excited- cracks her up!

Her parents were so proud of her, as were all the coaches and volunteers involved.  Most importantly, she was proud of herself.  THAT is what we strive for more than anything.

Words cannot express how much I appreciate our volunteers and coaches, as well as athletes that support each other.  I am so proud of Cookie and am looking forward to next week’s meet- it’ll be our first!

We wish everyone luck in their district meets coming up and hope to see y’all this season!

From Ear 2 Ear,

Amber

Side Note:  Notice how it turns into “we” and “us” with kids?  Sometimes we even get into third person!

Happy (belated) Birthday!

First thing’s first:  I did not actually forget her birthday.  I am just a lazy blogger.

Back on track: my baby is eight years old!  The caviot being that she is obviously not a baby and I’ve only been her nanny for over a year now, thus having never known her when she actually was a baby.  Whatever.

Cookie turned eight in January, so naturally we had a party for her.  I’d like to say that their parents are some of the best party planners ever- they keep the costs low and never get outrageous but still have what could easily be considered the “party of the year” for each kid.  Benjamin’s party was in October and he had a costume party at a local park, which was a huge hit.  For Cookie, we had a disco.

A disco, you say?  With a dj and strobe lights and a mirror ball?  YES.  That is EXACTLY what happened, but better.  We added two essential components- kids and SUGAR!  It was fantastic.  The turnout was mind-blowing, with friends from Therapedia, the partnership, church, and her inclusive class at school all showing up to celebrate our baby’s big kid’s special day.  Many of the kids were all glitzed up for the disco theme, but nobody could beat Cookie’s parents.  Her dad was in bellbottoms and a cheesy 70s button-down, with platforms and a goofy wig/ mustache combo.  Her mom wore a groovy (see what I did there) jumpsuit and platform heels.  Her brother was wearing a “pimp suit” complete with fur trim.  I donned pieces of old dance costumes- bedazzled black jazz pants and a blue sequined top.  You know I’m committed when I break out the spandex!  Of course, Cookie rebelled against the theme days before the party but still looked like a rock star in a fuschia Marchessa dress from Target.  We love clearance!

Her tie-dye cake was a hit, as well as the cupcakes for kids who had an aversion to cake.  (I know, who doesn’t love cake, and who would only eat it in cup format? Kid logic 101)…  They danced till parents were having to drag them out the door and each left properly sugared-up (sorry Moms and Dads)!  Cookie danced Gangham Style with all her friends and had a wonderful time.  If you ever worry about your kid not having “typical” reactions at their party, take comfort in knowing that she was properly embarassed by her parents when they tried to “shake their groove things.”  She also did really well with the cake and candle process and responded appropriately to all her presents, despite tearing through them too fast for us to take notes for thank-you cards.

My heart swelled with pride at the sight of Cookie having “girl talk” with her friends and sharing the typical “O.M.G.” reaction when each walked in the door- squeals and giggles, running to each other for a hug, the whole thing.  As little as we care about “the norm,” it’s cool when you see the “more alike than different” mantra in real life.

Side note: I forgot how much kids love pulling each other around on a slick floor.  Their dad is British and was so confused as to why there was a human chain being formed on the floor with one child pulling the rest.  Apparently they don’t have that in England.  Welcome to the states, where children slide on the floor.  Why?  Because we can, that’s why, and it’s fun.

So, happy birthday Cookie!  I am so proud of my sweet girl.  I love her, even when she clotheslines her brother in Walmart.

From Ear 2 Ear,

Amber

2012 in Retrospect, Part Three: Nanny News

Nanny news is comprised of all the things I’ve experienced as a nanny in the past year.  I just look back and think, “Holy cow… I am so blessed to have been a part of all of this.”

I nanny for two kids, Brookie and Ben.  Brookie does O.T. and speech therapy and is our dancing diva, starting track and field for Special Olympics in the Spring.  Ben is our resident whiz kid, known for his breakdancing and ginger hair.  I could ramble on for hours about them, but I’ll try to be concise…

We went bowling for the first time!

The kids discovered a new favorite place to visit- Sea Life Aquarium!

• We also had a lot of fun with spring/summer activities and broadened out horizons beyond t.v. as much as possible!  Both kids are officially strong swimmers and can safely swim without floaties.  They both jump in the deep end of my family’s pool (9 feet) without floaties!  Benjamin has also mastered his front flip off the diving board.

We’re learning to read! Benjamin finished Bob Books and Brookie is blazing through her sight words!

Brookie worked SO hard in O.T. and has met many goals even after finishing her sessions. Our pincher grasp is stronger every day!

We had our very first Buddy Walk team, Brookie’s Cookies! Our friend, also named Brooke, came out to represent a great cause with us, as well as our friend Mandy. Such a great time!

• Both kids learned their “lefts and rights.”
• Benjamin has embraced advanced art concepts and is practicing his still life drawings.  We particularly enjoyed our Jackson Pollock lesson!  Brooke is getting better with her letters and has blossomed in her art- rainbows, people, and a DEER!  I was so excited!

Both kiddos started hip hop class. This is Brookie at the dance class Christmas party, but Benjamin was at home with the flu. Poor thing! Guess who else had it…..

So many things happened in 2012 that I am definitely forgetting at least half of it!  I am so proud of both kids and marvel every day at how far they’ve come.

What happened in your life last year?  I love hearing about all the wonderful things people witness with their kids!

 

From ear 2 ear,

Amber