fromear2ear

Noteworthy progress in the community, anecdotes, recommendations, and more

How do you validate your children?

on February 11, 2014

How do you validate your children? How do they validate themselves?

I haven’t been a parent. I know that I cannot possibly understand how hard it is, or assume that I know what it’s like. As a big sister, a nanny, a tutor, a volunteer, and a grown-up version of the little girls out there, I do know about being a kid and caring for one like they were your own.

The majority of people I have worked with have been girls, but I have cared for a few boys as well. The little girl I was “way back when” is still, and always will be a part of me. The little boy or little girl you were is somewhere deep inside of you. Never lose that. Remember the whimsy, the silliness, the innocence, and especially the vulnerability.

Kids are so malleable. Everything they experience will shape who they are, and who they will become. You can hide all the scary, bad things in the world from them, keep them in a bubble, shower them with praise- believe me, my parents tried- but when they grow up, they’ll need more than that to take with them into the real world.

Let’s go back to the present. Your children need validation. They need to know that you approve of them, that you’re proud, and that you stand with them no matter what. Of course you’ve already told them this, but is it enough? Teach them to validate themselves, and they will believe you when you tell them they’re special. Teach them to validate themselves, and they won’t let anyone tell them they’re less. If your kid doesn’t feel good about themselves, they won’t believe you when you say they’re enough. You can go above and beyond to tell them they’re the best, but they have to believe it themselves for it to work.

How do you make your precious little girl understand just how valuable she is? There’s no “one right way.” Every child is different. Here are some things I came across that really stood out…

http://drkellyflanagan.com/2013/04/17/a-daddys-letter-to-his-little-girl-about-her-future-husband/

http://www.viralnova.com/father-letter-to-daughter/
My favorite part is what he asks her each night at bedtime.

http://www.homestarcenter.org/how_much_validation.html
This article supports my theory that validation must come from within.

http://fatherhood.about.com/cs/fatherhood/a/kidsneedcare.htm
Respect for parents is often emphasized to the point where we forget that children need it too.

http://mommasaid.net/2012/11/29/validate-emotions/

http://www.innerbonding.com/mobile/show-article/2742/self-validation-how-to-validate-yourself.html
This applies to us all.

http://thesnowballeffect.com/how-to-plant-the-seed-of-self-acceptance-in-your-child/

These are just some that I found after digging through the interwebs a bit. Please note that I am sharing these as examples, and not everything within the websites posted reflects the views of From Ear 2 Ear.

My parents validated me, but I never learned to appropriately validate myself. Don’t let your little ones grow up without learning to value and respect themselves. I look at these kids and teens and wish I could embrace them and say, “Do you know how important you are to the world?” I wish I could impart to each person on this earth just how much they are worth.

Give your children validation and instill the belief so strongly that it comes from within. There is nothing more powerful than a child’s ability to say, “I am enough, and I will not let others convince me that I am lesser.”

Create the foundation and enable them to build upon it. A skyscraper will fall without a strong foundation, as will your child.

It takes a village.

From Ear 2 Ear,

Amber

P.S.- Share your favorite ways to validate your children in the comments! I love feedback!

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2 responses to “How do you validate your children?

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