fromear2ear

Noteworthy progress in the community, anecdotes, recommendations, and more

Moving On

on November 23, 2013

I have been putting off every blog post since this summer because the one I need to write most is not something I ever thought I’d be writing.

Those of you who are familiar with my blog know that I am a nanny for a little girl with DS and her brother, who is typically developing. You know how crazy I am about them. I love them and their family and even their dog!

That’s why it’s been hard to tell you guys that I am moving on. It’s not anything they have done. I just realized that I have to do what is best for me, and I hated every minute of it.

I was with them for over a year and a half and I am so insanely grateful for every minute of it. I am a better person, advocate, friend, family member, employee, and human because of them. When I first started this job, I was still a teenager in many ways. I was disorganized in every area of my life, inefficient in tasks, and more self-absorbed than I’d care to admit. Trial and error played a big role. My boss was so patient with me while I was adapting to her pace. This summer was difficult… I wasn’t making progress with the kids. We were disagreeing on things and I was always stressed out. That’s when I realized that I was stagnating.

Cookie and Bubba have grown up so much. I have been truly blessed to witness so many “firsts.”. I taught them to swim without floaties, jump off the diving board… I was there when Bubba learned to do a flip, when they had their first dance recital (I cried), when Bubba started kindergarten, when Cookie drew her first animal (a deer, of all things), when she got her pincher grasp down, when they learned how to swing themselves, when Bubba learned to read… so much more…

I seriously could not ask for a better experience. It broke my heart to leave. I just realized that it was time for me to move on. I need to do a lot of things for myself. Someone once told me “You can’t help others if you can’t help yourself.”
I’m 21- school, finding an apartment (and being able to afford that apartment), and my wellbeing need to be considered.

I hate change. It sucks. It’s hard and scary and I don’t like not knowing! Leaving was insanely painful. I cried when I left and so did the kids. Then I cried at home, and on the phone with my grandmother, and texting my boyfriend. This job was all I’d known for the past 18+ months. I promised the kids I’d come back to visit and emphasized to their parents how sincerely I wanted to remain a part of their lives.

That being said, guess where I am!

At their house 🙂 I still babysit on an as-needed basis and am still the captain of Cookie’s Buddy Walk team! I have been at a new job since September. We got great news tonight- they’ve finally found a new nanny!!! The kids say prayers when we tuck them in at bedtime. Bubba always has me say it. We thanked God for helping us find a new nanny. Cookie says her prayer herself, and it’s adorable. I reminded her to mention her new nanny, and after hitting me in the head for interrupting, she did. Then she stopped and said, “No. Want you.” I told her I would be here tonight and her “new Miss Amber” would come another day. She relented and said “OK. You see me. Hang out.”

These kids will always be a part of me. I will see them at their birthday parties and sporting events, and I already have their Christmas presents!

I miss them often, even when they’re acting like heathens. I’m still an advocate and their crazy Miss Amber! Plus, I have way too many stories to tell their future boyfriends/ girlfriends!!!

From Ear 2 Ear,

Amber

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